I’m in my third month of being in Brazil and am, at times, embarrassed that I have not mastered the language. When I am still forced to mime my way through conversations with people that now recognize me and may even know my name, I feel somehow like I am letting them down. I want to apologize for my lack of effort, and the effort they have to exert helping me to say, locate the Q-tips. (Acting that out was weird and uncomfortable for both of us).
So, this week, instead of trying to understand, I’ve experimented with pretending I already do and started throwing around the phrase “No ten de key” – meaning “that’s all right”. I’m not sure why it took me so long to use this simple compilation of words considering, as some of you may recall, it was one of the first phrases I learned. So, for the past several days when a random person, say in a restaurant or on the bus, would ask me something I would often reply with “that’s all right”. It seemed a lot easier than asking them to repeat themselves when I really never got it the second time anyway. Yeah, I’ll admit, upon reflection those words did not make much sense in some situations. Like when Marcos overheard me dismissingly telling his sister “that’s all right” when she asked me where all the clean towels were. Luckily, I had not yet learned how to say “You find them – it’s your fucking apartment”.
As a result of my proclaiming “that’s all right” after countless interactions, I realize it causes just as much trouble (if not more) than just admitting I don’t understand. Because of those three little words I was forced to purchase a bag of candy that wasn’t mine and to and continue on my way to the gym after two people told me it was closed, Imagine that? Someone tells you they are going to the gym. You tell them, don’t bother it is closed. Their response is “that’s all right” and they go anyway. Instead of people thinking I don’t speak the language now they just think I am insane. Yes, I know the gym is closed but I am just going to hang out in front. Yeah, that’s what we Americans do.
I’ve also responded with “that’s all right” when someone was trying to point out I left my wallet on the counter, “that’s all right” after the condo security guard called to tell me there was a package for me at his desk (of which I just hung up the phone and did nothing) and of course the “that’s all right” when I was starving and one of Marcos’ nephews asked if I wanted some left over food. I didn’t want to look stupid so I just watched him eat. Yeah, who’s stupid now Brazilian boy?
I think tomorrow I’ll go back to letting people know I don’t know what the hell they are saying.